Virtual Lard IV: 30th January 2021

ACV Confederate  ~vs~  ACW Union

(Robert & Ricky ~vs~ Gary)

One of the few good things about lockdown is the fact that a lack of face-to-face wargaming pushes you into trying new things. Before 2021, I hadn’t played any remote games and yet here I was about to start my third game in ten days, this time as part of the Discord-organised Virtual Lard IV.

The Virtual Lard days are the equivalent of a normal Lard Day except for the fact, of course, that everything is done remotely. In today’s game, for example, Will (an American) would be hosting from the USA, I (an Englishman in the Home Counties) would be in the UK partnered with Ricky (an Englishman on the South Coast), playing against Gary (an American in London). All the action would take place on a Discord video link: Will would run the games and move the troops, the three of us could see the table on our screens and could therefore issue orders, roll dice etc just as normal. It’s not pushing lead, but it’s as close as you can get!

Today’s game was a re-fight of Ball’s Bluff. It’s the beginning of the war and a super-keen Union artilleryman has advanced his guns forward over the James river into Reb territory. The Rebs have cottoned on to the fact that the gunners are out on their own and have sent a force to capture the guns; Union high command have seen this coming and dispatched troops to bring the guns safely home. The stage is set for an epic clash!

We’d be using Sharp Practice, the Lardy rules designed for large scale “black powder” wargaming: not a ruleset that I have played much (this would be my third game ever) but a system that can be picked up very quickly by even the complete novice. It’s card-driven, with the pack containing cards for each officer (who activates and can issue orders when his card is drawn) and extra command cards that either help officers activate or give them bonuses when they do.

Will had set the game up on a board on top of a “Lazy Susan”: one of those devices you get in Chinese restaurants that allow you to swivel the tabletop to help yourselves to dishes without having to stand up and lean over things. This was an excellent idea, as not only did it allow him to just “spin the wheel” whenever necessary to hone in on the action, but it automatically restricted everyone’s point of view to approximately what the figures could actually “see”.

As the game started therefore, the three Union guns were in the middle of the table, up on the Bluffs. My Confederate force consisted of three groups of infantry in one formation; a group of skirmishers; and a group of cavalry; and we would attack from the left. Ricky had an identical force and would attack from the right. The Union relieving force would have to cross the river behind the guns to get into the action; the guns themselves would have to retreat backwards along the ridge and get over the river in the other direction in order to escape.

Plans

My plan was to get my troops onto the table as soon as possible, then advance my infantry and cavalry to the neck of the Bluff, where there was a slope that they could climb without too much difficulty to get up to the enemy guns (you can see the “step” up in the picture, above right). Meanwhile my skirmishers would head directly forward and try to suppress the nearest gun by shooting its crew down. Although Ricky and I were technically in competition for the glory of who captured the most guns, he would do approximately the same thing from his side.

Will had assured everyone several times that the Union forces were so outnumbered that they couldn’t win the battle, so their victory would come from saving as many of their three guns as possible. Unfortunately Gary must have misheard the part about his men not being able to win the battle and had determined, initially at any rate, to stand and fight!

The Game Begins

The game began and, initially, things went quite well. My cards came up nicely, and I was able to deploy my infantry, cavalry and skirmishers almost immediately. Slightly worryingly, an awful lot of Union troops had arrived behind the guns at the river bank and now only waited for some boats to arrive to ferry them across and into the action. More worryingly, my Confederate counterpart on the other side of the Bluff seemed determined to finish his breakfast cigar before doing anything: only his infantry had arrived.

The next card out of the deck was for the Union guns: an opportunity for them to start their retreat. Not according to Gary, however, who calmly ordered them to stay exactly where they were and open fire on the advancing Confederate infantry!

The resultant volleys of cannister (nasty stuff that turns an artillery piece into a giant shotgun) was most unpleasant. It wasn’t too bad for me: I only had one gun firing at me, and my men had hidden in the trees near my deployment point and sent the skirmishers forward to mask them; but poor Ricky took the fire from the other two pieces effectively naked in the middle of the table. Ouch!

Meanwhile, my men had been pushing forward as ordered. The skirmishers managed to shoot down three gunners, which was good, but my main command got a tangled up as they desperately tried to get out of the artillery’s arc of fire. Meanwhile, the Union cards just kept coming up, and his men were now about to line the edge of the Bluff above me. Apologies for the somewhat shaky pictures, below, once the camera came off the tripod, I had to rely on Will’s steady hand to keep it still!

What we really needed now was for Ricky’s men to get moving and get into the Union rear from his side of the table. Unfortunately, his cards and enough command cards proved elusive…in fact, the only card to appear regularly was the Union artillery’s card, and his infantry were getting hammered! His cavalry had, however, deployed at last, and off they went towards their slope leading up to the top of the Bluff.

The Union troops on my side of the Bluff opened fire and shot down some of my men, but the rest shook themselves into a line and returned fire with some effect. Perhaps we could still win the day!

But no, it was not to be!

Time was now against us (as we had used up most of the morning session and Will had another game to run in the afternoon) and the cards were still punishing us for secessionist views. My poor infantry unit took fire from the Union troops on top of the Bluff, and then from the artillery (which had, by now, manouevred their gun round) which, quite apart from killing four of five more men and inflicting plenty of Shock, knocked out my senior commander as well!

The End

And that, as they say, was that!

We still had plenty of Force Morale left, but we were out of time and still a long way from being able to use our advantage in numbers. Will somewhat generously declared this only a minor Union victory (as none of the guns had actually been saved yet and the Rebs were “bound to get them in the end”) but it didn’t seem vey minor from where Ricky and I sat i.e. still at the bottom of the Bluff, dead men all around us, and the enemy up above and firing down.

Ricky’s horse was on the way up the Bluff, the closest we got to the top, but there were at least two groups of Union infantry just itching to open fire at the cavalry as they picked their way up the slope…

Conclusion

Whatever the result, it had been a great morning’s gaming. Will had obviously spent a lot of time and trouble on the set up, and that effort paid off as the game ran smoothly despite having two inexperienced players out of three.

Congratulations to Gary, who played a blinder, and commiserations to my fellow commander, Ricky. Don’t worry, with your cavalry all committed to the slope, I sent mine off to report that our defeat was all your fault!

Can’t wait until the next Virtual Lard!

Robert Avery