Lardies Near Izdeshkovo


Well my fat oaf-like chum is correct (from the French "oeuf" probably), the first scenario from Viagra or Bust was wheeled out on Lard Island, and jolly times were had by all. All the Soviets that is.

Mr T, former Pool Tax bandit and hunt saboteur (National Hunt unfortunately, the stewards at Kempton Park haven't quite got over it!) was a natural for the evil Commies, and he deployed his troops with all the cunning of a Traffic Warden.

I cannot say too much, as I wouldn't want to spoil things for the chaps who have yet to play this game, but suffice to say that the German plan of attacking all across the front was enough to ensure that they hit every Soviet ambush going. Indeed, "Osama bin Biffo's" Germans seemed keen to die as martyrs at every opportunity.

Highlights of the game. Nick advanced one of his tanks into a gap between two buildings to avoid one of Mr T's AT guns. The building model that he was hid behind was a particularly ramshackle old Russian peasant hut, and Mr T asked, "can I fire through the building into the tank". Well, he had clearly seen Nick's tank move up, so I said "Yes, but you'll need a 12 to hit". Well, it's fairly obvious what happened next, double six. Straight through Mrs Petroshenko's Samovar and into the side armour of the tank. Fortunately for Nick, the Samovar seemed to have taken the worst of the round, as it failed to penetrate!

Secondly the classic line from Nick as Biffo was about to charge into yet another close assault "Herr Hauptmann, we could try using these. When you pull the trigger it goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Good fun, a Soviet victory albeit Pyhrric thanks to Biffo's dogged refusal to let go of his opponent. Looking forward to the next game which, unfortunately, will be after my hols.

Thanks to Robert for a really superb supplement.

Richard Clarke