The Truth About A 10ft Pole!

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Not much going on wargaming wise, so a more whimisical post today.

I was listening to Daughter #2 playing Dungeons & Dragons over Zoom last night, and the party of adventurers was deep underground in a traditional dungeon crawl setting. They were cautiously feeling their way through a section of the complex they were in, wary of traps, so using a 10ft pole to check the flagstones and ceiling in front of them. It brought back happy memories of doing the same thing when I used to roleplay on a regular basis: sometimes the whole party would have a 10ft pole tucked away somewhere on their equipment list.

This actually made me chuckle to myself because I now actually have a 10ft pole…well, it’s actually a 9½ foot long dragon staff for my wing chun kung fu. Although not part of the original wing chun system, as the eponymous nun apparently never learnt it, it was re-introduced at a later date. As with a lot of martial arts history, things are a bit murky as to how and why. Some say it is part of the Shaolin armoury (although they tend to use a shorter, 6ft, more flexible staff: what the Japanese would call a bo and what westerners would call a quarterstaff), some say that it comes from the poles used by boatmen on the rivers of southern China. Likewise, it’s either a weapon of awesome length, or something more designed to build up strength in the wrist, arms, core and posture.

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Why did I laugh? Well, you have to understand that this thing is long: 9½ foot long to be exact. As you can see in the photo, the only place in the house that it can come close to standing upright is in the stairwell. Manouevring it from the stairwell to the front or back door to use the thing in the garden (as it doesn’t fit anywhere else) is a nightmare: you clatter off this wall or that, knock the lightshades all over the place, and generally make a right nuisance of yourself. It’s made worse if you happen to also have your hands full of other equipment e.g. a set of ‘chucks or butterfly swords.

So the chuckling comes from the thought of a party of 5 or 6 adventurers, all with a 10ft pole stuffed somewhere in their luggage, moving quietly through a dungeon. To bring things back to wargaming, it would be like trying to manouevre an entire phalanx through a tube train tunnel! Not only would everyone be bashing into everyone else, but the noise would attract every wandering monster for miles around.

Mind you, a friend of mine does have a naginata that breaks down into three separate pieces…

My First Painting of 2021

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No games to be had due to COVID, so it was back to the painting table for the first weekend of the new year.

First finished was a unit of Indian javelinmen. I now have enough Classical Indians to field 130 points worth, but adding various other units to the collection will give me a bit of flexibility of army list and allow me to, at a stretch, field other Indian armies such as the Vedics and Tamils.

As with the rest of the collection, these are 15mm Museum Miniatures painted with GW Contrast Paints.

Next up are some odds and ends that I really painted to give myself a rest from the Classical Indians: some 15mm Essex Confederate infantry that I had half painted a number of years ago.

I’m a bit torn with these Rebs: I have about 120 infantry done painted in a very similar fashion to the above. The trouble is, I don’t like them very much! I like the officers that I’ve just finished off, above, using Contrast Paints, but the rank and file that were mostly done using standard acrylics, and mostly done quite badly quite a few years ago, just don’t appeal. Part of the problem is that I like my units looking neat and light, and these look a bit dark and gloomy.

So, what to do? Do I discard the 120 that are done and start again, painting at a better standard than I could manage then, or do I use them as a refresher between other jobs just to get the army done: after all, will I really notice when they are on the table?

Answers on a postcard to the usual e-mail address or as a comment on this post…

First of the 2021 Painting Challenge Entries

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No sooner have we said goodbye to the 2020 Painting Challenge then along come the first entries into the 2021 Painting Challenge!

Joe McGinn once again takes the trophy for the first entry of the year, but only just…as Travis, Stumpy and myself were very close behind.

Here’s what’s been submitted so far:

Details on how to enter are on the Introduction & Details page under the TFL Painting Challenge heading in the NavBar, above. All welcome: you don’t have to play TwoFatLardies games to enter…but it helps!

Here’s to another great year of the Challenge, so pick up those brushes and get painting!

Last of the 2020 Painting Challenge Entries

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Here are a few stragglers from the TFL 2020 Painting Challenge…a huge “catch up” entry from Matt Slade, two last minute entries from Sapper, two from Andy Duffell, two from Joe McGinn, and one from Mervyn.

Here’s a selection of what they sent in:

2020: A Year in Review

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And what a year it has been! Let’s look at what I accomplished:

Painting

15mm ECW Command from Essex

You can see my achievements in the Vis Bellica 2020 Painting Challenge gallery, but in summary I managed 1,726 points; down a bit from last year and the year before but still my third highest from the seven years that the challenge has been running. I think this year’s score was down a bit because I’ve been concentrating on Ancients and English Civil War (ECW) i.e. lots of infantry and cavalry but no vehicles.

I had three main projects, all in 15mm: my English Civil War collection, a Marian Roman army, and a Classical Indian army. All three went from no figures to enough to field an army for a game, with the ECW collection actually being enough to field both sides. I put this down to the new GW Contrast paints: being able to achieve the same effect as layer painting with one coat of paint made a huge difference, especially when painting horses.

Other than the three main projects, when lockdown first happened I made a concerted effort to clear some of the half-finished projects from the lead mountain. These were mainly the odd sci-fi unit, and included some of Khurasan’s excellent 15mm figures.

Ruag from Khurasan

I also managed to bring some half-finished Ancients armies up to scratch for To The Strongest (TTS): including the Hoplite Greeks and the 100 Year War English.

So, on the whole, a good year for painting, with enough on the painting table in terms of extra Marian Romans, extra Alexandrian Macedonians and extra Classical Indians to keep me occupied until I decide on my next project. I also want to add a few more ECW units to my collection, and I have a whole load of Onslaught Miniatures excellent Grudd on their way as well.

Classical Indians and Marian Romans

Gaming

With 42 games played in 2020, this has been my most prolific year by a long way. These broke down as follows:

  • Ancients: 21

  • Fantasy: 1

  • Pike & Shot: 14

  • WW2: 6

I put this huge increase down to two factors. Firstly, I played a lot more games based on the Big Red Bat’s grid-based system i.e. To The Strongest and For King & Parliament (FK&P). These are a lot quicker to set up and play than my usual TooFatLardies company-sized systems (I Ain’t Been Shot, Mum (IABSM); Charlie Don’t Surf (CDS); Quadrant 13 (Q13)) so I could sometimes get three separate games into one session.

I still love playing IABSM, but it’s an hour to set up, 3-4 hours to play, then an hour to take back down again: a real commitment as opposed to playing TTS which I can get done from start to finish in two to three hours.

A scene from the Cookham Moor scenario for For King & Parliament

The second factor is that we had Daughter #1’s boyfriend staying with us for the three months of lockdown over the summer, and it turns out that this excellent young man really enjoys wargaming. He’d never tried it before, but took to it like a veteran, and having an opponent in the house and ready to play anytime makes a huge difference.

All I need to do now is get him trapped back here again for January!

IABSM: Eastern Front Action

IABSM: Eastern Front Action

Shopping

Way too much money spent this year! well, I say that, but it was all very worth while.

Most of my cash went on the raw lead for my new armies. Particular kudos for excellent miniatures and service from:

  • Magister Militum as a source for

    • Hallmark for ECW

    • Baueda for Marian Romans

  • Museum Miniatures for Classical Indians

  • Peter Pig for ECW

  • Khurasan for ECW Scots

And not forgetting the faithful stalwarts of:

  • Warbases (anything bases!)

  • GW (Contrast Paints)

With an honourable mention to Boontown for terrain basing materials as well. All the above are highly recommended as a source of wargaming goodies.

Further kudos to the following who took up my suggestions and produced:

  • Museum Miniatures: a two-horse chariot for their Classical Indians

  • Onslaught Miniatures: some engineer/artillery crew and high command space dwarves to complement their Grudd range

  • Warbases: for supplying all sorts of custom bases for me

Writing

My Last Effort: October 2019 :(

My Last Effort: October 2019 :(

Embarrassingly, nothing published at all this year: the pressures of real-life work taking over. Although COVID and Lockdown meant there was much less business around, you had to work extra hard to even get that over the finish line. That means my last publication remains the early war Blitzkrieg in the East Part 1: Japan for IABSM, published October 2019.

On the plus side, however, I have 8½ scenarios of a planned 12 finished for an ECW fictional scenario pack for FK&P. I had intended to knuckle down and get them done over Christmas, but it will now be later in the new year that they are ready.

My plans for the new year also include the Allied equivalent of the Japan blitzkrieg supplement…but so varied are the forces involved that I think it will be real effort to get it done.

This Blog

About 22,500 page views this year: up from a low point of 20,000 in 2019, but still not as high as the peak of 32,000 we received in 2018. Not sure why that is. Could be something to do with the fact that more oomph from TFL goes into Chain of Command and Infamy! Infamy!, with IABSM, CDS and Q13 left to largely fend for themselves, so there’s less interest in the marketplace in the majority of our content.

That said, there’s been a lot of TTS and FK&P After Action Reports (AARs) on the site, featuring the games I’ve played in, which I’ve promoted on Lead Adventure, Facebook and the TTS forum. Maybe it’s something to do with not posting pointers to my AAR on The Miniatures Page, but I felt I should support TFL in the contretemps that happened between the two earlier this year.

More FK&P Action, this time at Cockmarsh

More FK&P Action, this time at Cockmarsh

I also read somewhere that blogs are going “out of fashion”, replaced by Facebook posts, but I can’t think that that is true: here the content is presented in an easy-to-read format and is easily searchable, as opposed to FB groups which, once a few days have passed, seems to consign their content to the void!

I’ve also stopped putting direct links from the TFL Painting Challenge posts to the individual galleries. I know they are nice to have, but adding them to an update post could add 30-45 minutes to the work involved, and I’m already spending 2-3 hours a week just processing entries.

If anyone has any ideas or content that they’d like to see (which also fits in to the site as a whole) then feel free to comment or drop me a line.

The Painting Challenge

Talking of the Painting Challenge, this continued strong in 2020, although we only had twenty-six entrants this year, down from thirty-three in 2019.

Still, lots of excellent work submitted, and I know how much of a spur it is to those who do take part from the lovely comments and e-mails I get throughout the year. This year, I even met up with one entrant from the States, who happened to be on holiday in Edinburgh at the same time I was.

The Painting Challenge will continue in 2021: I’ve just got to convert more individual-page AARs into blog-post AARs in order to free up some space on the website (limited pages, unlimited blog posts!)

Conclusion and 2021

Which brings us neatly full circle. In conclusion, a good year for my wargaming hobby despite COVID, lockdown, pressures from work etc. I’m hoping that 2021 will be equally productive both in terms of games played, figures painted, scenario packs published and blog posts written.

Finally, a Happy New Year to you all, and thanks for your support over the last twelve months.

Robert Avery

TTS AAR: Classical Indians versus Caesarian Romans

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After six weeks of hard painting, helped by Lockdown 2 and the Christmas holidays, the Classical Indians are ready to hit the tabletop, and what better occasion to test them out than what is almost certain to be the final battle of the year.

My usual wargaming opponents were again unavailable due to the lockdown (it’s about two degrees Centigrade, so a little cold to game outside) so I fell back on the ever-reliable Daughter #2. We decided to play a straight up, 130 points a side game of To The Strongest: I obviously wanted to play with my newly finished Indians, so she decided to fall back on her favourite Caesarian Romans, once again adopting the persona of the Beardless Proconsul.

So a loss for their first outing, but actually not as bad a loss as I had thought. My massed longbow fire did cause the Romans real problems in the initial stages of the battle, and had that unit of legionaries on my right not held out against overwhelming odds, then I think the day would have been mine.

Lots of lessons learnt: the most important one being to put a unit of elephants on the wing where the chariots aren’t: an elephants versus Gauls match up might well have gone my way as the Gallic horses don’t like pachyderms and suffer big penalties in combat.

Anyway, another cracking game of TTS, and a fitting end to a great year’s gaming.


TFL Painting Challenge: Another Batch of Last Minute Entries

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There’s still time to get your last painting of the year done: as usual, I’ll be taking entries right up to midnight tomorrow and, maybe if you’re lucky and can convince me that you finished them within 2020, late entries as well.

Meanwhile, Derek, Chris and Sapper have sent in their last entries of the year. I recommend visiting their individual galleries, but here’s a selection of their latest work:

I’m sure you’ll also all be pleased to know that I will be running the challenge again next year, so clean up those painting stations, buy some new brushes, and get ready to rock in 2021!

Classical Indians: The Elephants

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An important part of any Classical Indian army are the elephants. They can form the spearhead of your attack: stomping any enemy units into submission. They are particularly useful against cavalry-based armies who haven’t encountered pachyderms before.

As with the rest of my Classical Indians , my elephants are from Museum Miniatures’ 15mm CAD-designed “Z” range, and very pretty they are too:

They were also very easy to paint: time-consuming, in that there’s a lot of elephant and crew to produce, but much easier to turn out than I had anticipated.

The elephants themselves are painted with a single coat of GW Contrast Basilicum Grey. Then each under-blanket is painted a dark colour, with the over-blanket a contrasting lighter colour. The rather natty designs on the over-blanket are actually WW2 tank decals (Soviet IIRC), and have turned out even better than I expected.

I painted the crew in situ but, if I have to paint any more, may consider painting them separately then mounting them. It’s 50/50: it’s fiddly to paint them in place, but quite difficult to get them mounted well, so you could ruin a paint job messing around trying to get completed crew figures in place.

TFL Painting Challenge: More Entries In Before The 31st December Deadline

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Here’s another batch of last-minute entries into the 2020 TooFatLardies Painting Challenge. As usual, I recommend visiting the individual galleries, but here’s a selection to look at for a bit of instant gratification:

Still plenty of time to get your last entries in!

Classical Indian Heroes

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Regular visitors will know that I am currently painting up a 15mm Classical Indian army using Museum Miniatures excellent “Z” range of CAD designed figures.

I had said that the next element to be worked on were the elephants: a massive task involving a mix of the elephants themselves (six of them) and their escorts (a load of light infantry types). I mounted the crew figures on their steeds, fixed them all to painting bases (a mixture of lolly sticks for the foot and bits of card for the nellies), sprayed them, and then wondered what I would do whilst I waited for them to dry. Gone are the days of sitting there with a hair dryer: with Tier 4 in full swing, I didn’t have any opponents anyway! I needed a quick painting fix, so decided to paint up the five “Heroes” that had sitting on the sidelines awaiting some attention.

Heroes need, in my opinion, to stand out from the crowd a bit, so what better figures to use than a selection from the “Indian or Arab Hordes” pack that Museum do. These are both striking and unusual, and suited what I wanted down to the ground:

I am loving these poses, and the way the figures are sculpted really allows the Contrast paint to do its work as well. The first two heroics - the chap kneeling down with a spear and the chap holding the two rocks - are some of my favourite casts ever. The close up shots reveal the sloppiness in my painting style, but they look really, really good when viewed at wargaming distance.

Highly recommended.

TFL 2020 Painting Challenge: The Final Stretch

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Well I’ve finished work for Christmas, so that must mean that it’s also the final stretch in this year’s TooFatLardies Painting Challenge.

As you gird your loins to paint, photograph and send in your final entries, the latest batch of other’s people’s work has now been posted. Make sure you check out the individual galleries and Scorecard, but here’s a taster:

Lard Magazine 2020

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Just a note that the 2020 Lard Magazine in now on sale. Highly recommended: packed full of Lard goodness.

Get your copy by clicking here.

Lard Magazine 2020 brings you a fabulous feast of Lard, and at 180 pages is a Bullseye when it comes to wargaming fun. 

Scenarios, complete campaigns, rules amendments, fresh periods to game, previews of future rule sets, build projects unveiled and a whole host of other wargaming fun, written by wargamers for wargamers. 

Lard Magazine is in PDF format and designed to be viewed on a table such as an iPad or android for easy reading.

Here’s a full list of the contents.

FORCES OF THE 100 DAYS:  A guide to the troops of the campaign of Waterloo for Sharp Practice.  British, French, Hanoverians, KGL, Dutch-Belgians, Brunswickers, Prussians and more with full army lists and support options along with new troop characteristics.  From the pen of Sharp Practice aficionado Joe McGinn. WACHT AM SAMBRE:  The Prussians take on the French Armee du Nord as they advance into Belgium

RESUPPLY HOUGOUMONT:  A scenario to accompany the 100 Days guide sees action. on the British right at Waterloo.

PUNCH UP AT PLANCENOIT:  A classic action to the East of La Belle Alliance sees the French attempt to stop the Prussian juggernaut.  

MICRO MAP MAKING:  Sidney Roundwood is released from a high security institution to show us how he makes some stunning campaign maps

ALL THE KINGS MEN VERSUS DRACULA:  The Price of Darkness takes on the House of Stuart in a blood curdling scenario set in Whitby.  A creepy classic from the pen of David Hiscocks.

SOLO CHAIN OF COMMAND:  From the Welsh valleys comes an Artificial Intelligence called Bond.  Geoff Bond.

INCH HIGH ROVING EYE:  Mike Whittaker presents some technological insight for gaming IABSM over Zoom from a soldier’s eye viewpoint.

FILIBUSTERS!  Colin Murray introduces some Manifest Destiny for Sharp Practice from the 1840’s and 1850’s down Mexico Way…and a bit of Canada.

EX ADIPIS SUILLAE:  No thanks, I had one earlier! David Hunter presents an epic of the ancient world as he campaigns through Britannia in the 1st Century AD with Infamy, Infamy!

GLIDERS, CROSS THE MERSEY:  Kevin Pierce calls out the Home Guard as Fallschirmjäger land in Liverpool.

BOMBS AWAY:  It’s Squadron Leader Johnny Danger taking to the skies again as he offers some tips on bombing in Bag the Hun.

TO THE VOLGA!:  International YouTube Superstar, Alex Sotheran attacks into Stalingrad with some ideas for Solo IABSM during Lockdown

BETWEEN THE MOUNTAINS AND THE SEA:  Always one for a large Falx, Yorkshire’s own John Savage presents some 100% unofficial lists for Dacians in Infamy, Infamy!

HOME FRONT:  Who do you think you’re kidding Mr ‘Itler?  Britain prepares to stand alone and sticks two fingers up to the enemy across the Channel.  Yes, it is (of course!) 1940 and a bumper handbook for Britain’s Home Front and Chain of Command.   

24 HOURS FROM ROMFORD:  “This is not a drill…”  German landings in East Anglia threaten to wrong foot Britain’s high command, only the Home Guard stand between the capital and the rampaging Jerries.  A Pint-Size Campaign for Operation Sea Lion.

A LOOK AT ‘O’GROUP:  Sidney Roundwood interviews Housewife’s favourite Dave Brown about what we can expect from the forthcoming WWII Battalion size rules.

SMALL FOOTPRINT TERRAIN:  Oddcast host and wargaming Glitterati, Sidney, proves what they say about small footprints with this fabulous terrain building article.

SCRAMBLING FOR SUPPLIES:  Olve Kroknes straps on  on his skis as he heads for Narvik to refight a Chain of Command action in the (snow) shoes of his grandfather.

SHE WAS ONLY THE MAGISTRATE’S DAUGHTER…  An AWI scenario for Sharp Practice tells a heart rending tale of  woe.  Can our heroes escape to victory?

Enter the Heavy Chariots!

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No gaming at the moment as COVID restrictions are still in force, so it’s on with the painting: specifically adding units to my 15mm Classical Indian army.

The last week or so has been spent putting together and painting a couple of heavy chariot units:

These are figures from Museum Miniatures’ CAD designed “Z” range painted using mostly GW Contrast paints.

Just in case you’re after a bit of inspiration, here are a couple of notes:

  • The dark brown horses are painted using Cygor Brown diluted 50/50 with the Contrast thinner, then black manes, tails and lower legs.

  • The dun horses use Agresso Dunes as the skin colour, with black manes, tails and lower legs.

  • The grey coloured horses (a shade probably unknown to nature but looks good on a model!) are Space Marines grey with Basilicum grey manes, tails and lower legs.

  • The black horses are Templar Black Contrast for the skin, then a standard acrylic black for the mane and tail.

  • The crew skintone comes from a 50/50 mix of Cygor Brown and Fyreslayer Flesh

  • The chariot sides were painted Skeleton Horde, the black blobs in an approximate cow hide pattern, dark grey infill on the blobs, then stippled white in between.

  • The bases are Warbases large vehicle bases with GW basing material on top with a sprinkling of talus before it dried. That was then drybrushed in a bone colour and the edge painted as well. Then three types of shrubbery brush in clumps placed randomly. Then a sprinkle of mixed dark green and dark yellow basing fluff.

  • The whole lot then varnished in a matt anti-shine finish.

DSCN2099.JPG

  • The bright coloured shields are a bit fantastic (simple alternating stripes) but provide a nice contrast to the other colours

  • I decided to paint the chariot wheels and structure in the darker Contrast red for the same reason.

  • Finally, I didn’t touch up the figures after basing, especially the horses and lower parts of the chariots, as I felt that the models looked better with a bit of dirt and dust on the undercarriage!

Next up are the escorted elephants. That’s quite a big project, with each (deep) base containing two elephants-and-crew and eight escorts on foot. Three bases worth to do, so might take me a bit of time! Wish me luck…

Classical Indians: Some Cavalry

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Here’s the latest Classical Indian unit to roll (or rather gallop) off the production line: a base’s worth of cavalry.

As with the rest of my Classical Indians, these are 15mm Museum Miniatures figures from their CAD designed ”Z” range. They are painted with GW Contrast paints and mounted on a large vehicle base from Warbases.

The chaps chucking a javelin and the cataphract commander are lovely figures. I’m less sure about the swordsmen: they look like uncomfortably poor riders to me…but then, on the To The Strongest army list, the Classical Indian cavalry are all very poor quality, so maybe they suit!

TFL Painting Challenge: It's December Already!

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Who would have thought that it is December already, with only a few weeks to Lockdown Christmas 2020.

I know some people who have realised that the year is almost over: the people who have sent in another weighty set of entries for this year’s TooFatLardies Painting Challenge.

Make sure you visit the galleries to see the full cornucopia of submissions, but here’s a taster:

IABSM AAR: Barbarossa 1941 Solo

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Here’s another excellent I Ain’t Been Shot Mum AAR and video AAR from Alex Sotheran, this time set in 1941 as Operation Barbarossa gets under way. The game is taken from Alex’s very readable Storm of Steel blog.

Unusually, it’s not the Germans that are facing off against the Soviets, but the Roumanians: some nice-looking infantry supported by R-2 tanks.

Click on the picture below to see all:

Classical Indians: The Maiden Guard

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More Classical Indians rolling off the production line!

This time it’s the Maiden Guard:

As usual, these are from Museum Miniatures’ 15mm “Z” range of CAD designed figures painted mainly with GW Contrast Paints.

I know that the idea of the Maiden Guard in terms of being a battlefield fighting unit is somewhat, er, fictional, but the way I have constructed my TTS Classical Indian 130 point army list means that I only need one unit of Javelinmen, who can be Veteran, so I thought I’d just go for it and paint a unit of figures different from anything else I’m going to need. After five longbowmen units in a row, a change is as good as a rest!

And these figures are lovely. Rather than being your typical 15mm female warrior figures (basically men with two lumps of green stuff on the chest) these really are significantly different from the male figures in the range. They are slighter overall, with slightly emphasized hips, and breasts that actually look like the sort of breasts you might get on an athletic young lady rather than a couple of stray footballs!

As I hope you can see, they paint up very well too, and I would highly recommend them for anyone who needs Amazons or the like.

I’m moving on to the Classical Indian cavalry now, but here’s a couple of pics of the last on the longbowmen.

IABSM AAR: Kursk 1943 Solo

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Here’s a great After Action Report from Alex Sotheran, taken from the IABSM Facebook Group and Alex’s equally excellent Storm of Steel blog.

It’s Kursk 1943, and Alex plays through a solo game with the Germans attacking a Soviet-held village. There are plenty of “big cats” out to play, and there’s even a link to the YouTube video of the game.

Click on the picture below to see all. Highly recommended.

TFL Painting Challenge: Another Enormous Update!

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I see you all took me at my word and have done your best to paint as much as possible over this second lockdown period.

Make sure you visit the individual galleries listed in the NavBar above, but here’s a selection from the entries from the last two weeks: